Taking Multi-Vitamins

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Topic: School/Homework Strategies

Upset ov= er not finishing work in school

I wanted to pass this strategy along that is working for my son in 2nd grade

(regular classroom w/aide). At the beginning of the school year he had big issues about not being able to fini= sh classroom assignments in time before the class moved on to other areas. His teacher started to point out other students that also did not finish and th= at it is okay if he didn't finish the assignment. She also had discussed with another student to say she didn't finish (even if she did) in the event that everyone was done except for him. Now he has no problems at all if he does = not complete his work.

Upset over making a mistake

This same teacher also has calmed h= is down in regards to making mistakes, which was a big deal for him. She makes= a point to make mistakes herself in the classroom and then make a joke of it.= She becomes dramatic and asks if the students could ever forgive her. My son th= inks it's funny now if he makes a mistake in class.

Scriptin= g and Refusing to do Homework

This was a dual topic. A parent sa= id she struggles with her 10 year old at homework time because “he is his wo= rst verbal distraction.” He scripts a lot and she believes he is constantly replaying tv shows in his head. He also has become stub= born and argues that he will not do his homework.

Dawn answered,

I can absolutely guarantee that your son is going through tv shows and

movies. When my son was non-verbal = we thought it was just gibberish. But now that he talks we can ask him about it (because he still does it) and he'll tell us he's thinking of a certain Spongebob cartoon or a roller coaster ride, etc.

You might want to make a social sto= ry that talks about it being okay to think

about these things in our free time= but that we have to sit down and work when it is homework time or listening to = the teacher time.

A strategy that worked for us at homework time was to buy 5 to 10 of those cheap little, flat pencil erasers= you can find at party stores, teacher stores, etc. Buy ones that your son would like (ie. mini basketball, puppy, etc.). Now if you have three homework assignments you pull out three erasers. When he finishes an assignment let = him move it to the completed side of the table. You might also let him know that when he finishes his homework he'll get to do something he likes to do afterwards. Then when he starts talking you can remind him, "Hey<= /o:p>

look, we only have two puppies left. Let's finish so you can watch your favorite DVD."

This helped us because my son could= n't “see” the end of the homework. This gave him a simple visual of= how much work was expected of him.

Laurie replied,

1. On the scripting:

Even though he is verbal, consider = that at certain times of stress or boredom etc (pick your emotion!) sometimes the scripting is a way of expressing those emotions he might not otherwise know= how to do. So sometimes the scripting can be highly 'functional', i.e. is a for= m of communication, you just need to figure out what he might be trying to communicate with that particular script. I always

remember one little guy (not my own) who used to break into "Run Pongo Run" whenever he was faced with= a set of classroom tasks or activities he found overwhelming...and he was essentially labeling that sense of feeling impending 'danger' and need to e= scape. In that case, and in my own daughter's case, the trick then is to teach a socially appropriate and more easily understood

verbalization (i.e. I need a break = or I can't do this right now or I need space etc). With my daughter, it most oft= en came up when she was a) in waiting situations or b) when she was bored and = was trying to fill time. Just something to think about.

2. On the negativity/refusal to do homework:

First, and this goes for all of us parents AND teachers/instructional assistants, beware implying a choice when there really IS no choice when giving instructions. Not sure that you're do= ing this, of course, but many of us do this all the time, esp. with our typical kids/husbands...we give a direction but we express it in a way that there i= s an implied choice, to make ourselves sound 'nicer'. Here's what I mean:

Do you want to do your homework now= ?

If you finish your homework, then y= ou can play a video game.

When you finish your homework, then= you can play.

Shouldn't you be starting your homework?

or my personal favorite...

Time to start your homework....OK?<= o:p>

How many times I heard myself saying "OK?" at the end of a directive, even after I was trying to train myself out of it!! There was = NO CHOICE, but I stuck one in there anyway. And then darned if I didn't get up= set with her when she chose not to do what I wanted her to do! So my rule of th= umb became....Don't give or imply a Yes/No Choice unless you are willing to acc= ept NO as the answer.

I'd also determine for sure if you think his resistance to doing the homework is a COMPLIANCE issue or could it possibly be an ABILITY or LACK OF UNDERSTANDING issue? We tend to assume, e= sp when these kids are verbal, that they can do the work...but that's not alwa= ys the case. Maybe a behavior analysis at home is in order -- the whole ABC concept -- to determine what are the reasons? There are lots of ways to approach this, hopefully before you go the meds route, that could potential= ly make home life and school life better for everyone involved.

Dawn added,

Laurie, you are so right about how phrasing your statements affects your child's

response. We have to remember our children a= re very literal. At dinner one

night my son did not eat any of his hamburger. Exasperated I said, "You didn't even touch your hamburger." Thrilled that that was all he had = to do, he put a finger on his burger. He was so pleased. I didn't even get it unti= l my daughter started laughing. I should have just said, "Eat your burger."

Marie stated,

What almost always works with my soon-to-be 10 yo son with Asperger's/ADHD/SID is to give him 'five more minutes.' The stubbornness kicks in with transitions and so if he has proper warning, he almost always comes around! I've taught the school to do this as well if he is resistant - just give him 'five more minutes' and it usually doesn't even take that long. I think it's the transition itself and how har= d it is for him to go on to the next subject or task, plus it's the little bit of control that it gives him. It sure saves time in the long run to give him t= hat time.

Oh, and I always try to stress something positive - for example, at bedtime, instead of going in his room = and saying it's lights out - I say, it's time for his super-duper tuck-in, whic= h he loves and doesn't complain a bit.